Getting Back in the Dating Game, Part 2

Apparently the new way to date is via the internet. There were so many site to choose from - Match.com, Chemistry.com, eHarmony, Yahoo Dating, Singlesnet, and Plenty of Fish (POF). I took the pictures and wrote up a brief description of myself and what I was looking for and posted it on several of these sites.

Oh man, it was like reading the help wanted section back when the economy was strong. I read so many profiles and viewed hundreds of pictures. When you date online, you come up with a catchy user name so people will want to read your profile and remember you. Some had very cute, clever names like:

"2011 Serendipity"

"Good Knight"

"Fun 2 Talk 2"

However, there were so many guys that had disgusting, piggy names that I didn't even want to read their profile because I knew exactly what they were looking for...a quick jump in the sack. Really what were they thinking using names like:

"Long Dong Gold"

"Sexy Mustang"
"Quick Biter"
"So Many Inches"

And my all time favorite... "Never Faithful"


Then there are the pictures. Why do guys feel they have to post pictures of them with no shirt on or even worse, completely naked? Or the guys who take a picture of themselves in the bathroom mirror wearing just a towel or a wife beater (tank top)? Why not use a nice, current picture with clothing on? Leave somethings up to the imagination.

So, I started emailing mens' profiles that I was interested in and in return was receiving replies and of course was receiving emails from gentlemen interested in me. I would email, through the dating site, back and forth with these gentlemen and if there was a connection we would move onto the next step -- IM (instant messenger).

One of the first people I spoke* to asked me the strangest question. I was blown away. This is when I realized that dating after Disney was not going to be quite as easy as I thought...

*Spoke - meaning to email, text or instant message

Getting Back in the Dating Game Part 1

I had been out of the dating world for over 12 years - not that I was much of a dater back then.

On my 21st birthday I met the biggest asshole (yes, more of an ass than Dick) that I dated for 2 long years. This relationship was abusive - mentally, physically, and emotionally. He had the cheesiest pick up line ever and me being inexperienced was swept off my feet. What an idiot I was. It went something like this:

James: "Hi there. Where's your boyfriend."

Me: "Me? Oh, I'm alone."

James: "Well, what if I told you you'd never have to be alone again?"

A year after that relationship ended I had built myself into a strong, confident, independent woman. I was working and going to college full-time. I was also working out at a local gym 4 days a week. Life was GREAT! In June of 1996, Dick joined the gym and asked me out and the rest of that relationship is history.

So, now it is time to get back into the dating game. Hold on and enjoy the ride!

Closing the Book with Dick

As I mentioned before, we had some rough patches throughout the years but managed to work through them. I was committed to the marriage and my family through good times and bad. However, there were some problems from day one that again, I believe were signs from above that I did make a huge mistake marrying Dick.

We dated a year before we were engaged and then another year before we married. I lived at home with my parents until the day I got married. Dick and I spent all of our free time together but didn't live together until we came back from our honeymoon. You know how they say "you never truly know someone until you live with them?" well, I highly encourage pre-marital cohabitation. Had we lived together before becoming engaged and/or married, my life may have turned out different but I am a firm believer that things happen to us for a reason.

After we married...

... I discovered that Dick didn't like having sex. Somehow I must have ignored this during our pre-marital relationship. Weeks leading up to the wedding things were getting funky in the intimacy world. When I finally asked him what was wrong he told me he was only able to climax once every 4 days. Yes, that says DAYS. I had never heard of such a thing and never noticed it when we were dating but then again we weren't living together so I guess everything seemed normal to me. He also told me this is how he had always been.

Apparently Dick must have enjoyed a little alone time right before the wedding because we were not able to consummate our marriage until the FOURTH DAY of our honeymoon. I couldn't believe it. And to make matters worse, Dick needed to take sea sick medication (we went on a cruise) that made him sleepy, so we were in our cabin by 9pm every night - he was snoring by 9:15.

When we got home I researched his mysterious condition, asked friends, consulted with doctors...no one could provide me with any information that could either deny or confirm any such condition. Wanting a family, I immediately panicked. Once every 4 days - what if his schedule didn't fit in with my ovulation schedule? When the time came, I was fortunate enough to get pregnant on the first try and am so ever grateful for my 2 beautiful daughters.

... I discovered Dick hated taking showers...never noticed this when we were dating...though he did wear lot of cologne which he stopped doing right after we got back from our honeymoon. He would often go a week without a shower. I would beg him to shower. By the end of our marriage I was taping signs to the headboard that said "Dick, Please shower tonight. Love, Me". It didn't work. By the end of a week his hair was extremely greasy and the stench that came from his pores formed an aurora around him. It was unbearable. Needless to say the above problem actually worked out in my favor!


As you can imagine this interfered with our love life.  I was fortunate that Dick showered the night the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series...my youngest was conceived that night. That was the last time Dick and I were intimate.

Till death do us part

So, as I said, I was in complete and utter shock to receive Dick's phone call but after grieving the loss of my marriage, I realized it was for the best. Dick was giving me a second chance in life. Was our marriage perfect - far from it but when I made those vows back in 1998 they were forever - till death do us part. Unfortunately Dick didn't keep his end of the deal. He decided he was going to become a famous poker player...yup, he was leaving his family for a deck of cards and some poker chips. And of course behind every good card player is a good woman.Yup, Dick was cheating on me, too. She is a work of art...looks only a mother, well and Dick, could love.

Looking back to before we married I now realize God was giving me signs prior to the wedding that I may be making a mistake marrying Dick. What kind of signs you ask...

... 4 months before we got married we bought a house - I developed severe anxiety attacks from the moment we signed the purchase and sale

... every time I went for a dress fitting, I broke out into hives and then without fail they would have to rip the dress off of me because I would start sweating profusely with stomach pains that caused me to have explosive diarrhea 

... I lost my appetite so they had to continuously take my dress in (see above). I think the alterations cost more than the actually dress itself. A week before the wedding I had a bout of irritable bowels causing me to lose more weight. My dress was hanging off me on the big day.

... I went to my hairdresser for a practice run on my hair which should have lasted no more than an hour. However, we were there forever because I needed to keep taking breaks because I was having hot flashes. They kept bringing me cups of water to cool me down and help relieve the severe cotton mouth I had. Although I appreciated their assistance and concern for my comfort, by bladder was overflowing so I spent a lot of time running to the bathroom.

A small case of pre-wedding jitters, right?

Don't think so. The BIG DAY arrives. Everything is going as planned except the weather. There was a   misty drizzle in the air...but rain on your wedding day is good luck so I wasn't too worried. My wedding ceremony was like an out of body experience. I remember my Dad and I standing at the back of the church...my music began to play, he asked me if I was ready and down the aisle we went.

I was anxious but trying to keep myself together. I made it through the wedding ceremony and then we had to move on with the rest of the Mass. Being from an Irish, Catholic family, a full Mass was expected. This is where the troubles began. I begin feeling anxious...we had been on kneelers for at least 45 minutes. Then the sweat starts. It is at this point that I begin doing sign language with the priest. It was like a three-ring circus up there on the altar. The altar boy and girl were running around like crazy bringing me water, wet face cloths, and finally they brought Dick and I chairs to sit on. I was so anxious I was ready to get up and run out of the church. I felt like I was Julia Roberts in The Runaway Bride. Still hot, I signaled to the priest to turn on the ceiling fans. This is when God gave me his final sign.

It was time to light the unity candle signifying us coming together as one. Dick and I lit the inner candle and returned to our seats. It went out...not all of the candles...just our candle. Dick, knowing I would be upset, got up and lit it again. The darn candle blew out before he even made it back to his seat. At this point the priest mouthed to us that he would light it for us...yeah, right. Finally the Mass was over and we were man and wife.

February 2008

I got the biggest surprise of my life...

Almost 10 years prior I had married Dick, the love of my life. Over 10 years we built the perfect life together complete with two beautiful daughters, a nice home and the symbolic white picket fence. 

Dick was the owner of his own tax accounting firm. February was always a busy month for him so, he usually would send the girls and I away on a trip during the week of school vacation. This particular year he decided I should take the girls to Disney World. My parents and brother also joined us on our Disney adventure. On the second day of our vacation Dick called my cell phone. I figured he wanted to make sure we all made the trip safely and say hello to the girls. Well, that was not it at all. Dick was calling to inform me that when we got home from vacation he would not be there. He wanted a...divorce.

I was in utter shock. Of course our marriage wasn't perfect but we had always managed to work our way through the rough patches. Needless to say it wasn't much of a vacation but we made the best of it for the girls who were 2 1/2 and 6 1/2. They had no idea what was going on. Thank goodness my family was with me for moral support.

Anyways, we made it home from vacation and went through the quickest divorce ever known to mankind. Dick and I stood before a judge in June, 2008 and our divorce was finalized in September 2008. Yes, 7 months after he sent us, the family he supposedly loved, to "the happiest place on earth" I found myself single. 

Single again, ugh. I hadn't dated in over 12 years. A lot changed in 12 years and let me tell you it wasn't for the better. I hope you enjoy my stories of Dating After Disney...